MoM Callum. Match report Ian

Last week, we don't discuss that © Ash.

So in the 1st half of the season, this was apparently our toughest match, I wouldn't know, I was still in hospital having my ankle reconstructed from Callum's assault the previous week ?.

So Cormac abandoned us, but stand in skipper Ian had been shopping, so we had bright pink warm up balls and more Jelly Babies than you could shake a stick at.

It was effing cold and both the chuckle brothers were complaining about lack of base layers, Christmas wasn't long ago Matt & Jonah, you should have put them on your list.

It promised to be a closely fought contest and it lived up to expectations. The early skirmishes were fairly even with few chances at either end. With a few changes from last week, we had sensibly cut 50 years out of the combined age of the back 4 (yes do the Maths, even with me & Russ in there) and most of the action took place in the midfield where Ash eventually turned up to join us.

Ben T was giving us helpful advice from the base of midfield and it was arguably against the balance of play when PBar broke down their left, fired a ball into the D and planted a decent shot into the back of our goal. 1-0 down, boo.

Our heads didn't drop and we continued to hold our own and as the clock wound down on the first half we won a short.
The whistle went, Ben bellowed at Jake to hang on and the full team assembled on their D. We produced a very shabby short: stopped inside the D, switched to Ash, who had the presence of mind to take it out and back in and then pop it onto a defenders foot.

Take 2, much better, switched to Ash, whose shot was deflected up for Dhylan to slam dunk into the net for 1-1.

PBar came hard at us at start of 2nd half. What turned out to be their 1s forward, let's call him baldy69, broke thru the middle, did Ian for pace (and skill and youth) and was heading for goal. Model wily old pro Ian had a nibble at his heels and when that failed to stop him, tried the old stick in left hand reach around tackle from behind and floored the "funky guy" strategically outside the 25.
Whilst the weak willed saw this as a reason for a DoD vote, if you're going to nail someone, go hard and early and don't give away a short. Ms Umps duly produced a well deserved green, but no further damage done. Result!

Ben later decided he would mark him to save me further embarrassment.
Callum picked up a green (but curiously no DoD votes) for subbing on a nano second before whoever had left the pitch. Over zealous Mr Umps out Quentining Quentin for pedantic cards.
We were outnumbering them 3-1 in subs, but Dhylan decided we needed a better advantage and blasted a free hit on the left into one their player's elbow, who retired hurt - wimp!
PBar then had another decent break where their skipper muffed a chance, failing to make contact with a shot, and promptly threw his stick to the ground. Once play broke down Ian helpfully suggested to Ms Umps she may want to have a word, which was all she did, suggesting he should sub off and calm down, but he pointed out Dhylan had eliminated their sub, so he was allowed to stay on. ITS A "Fuddledyduddledy" AUTOMATIC YELLOW CHUCK!

As the 2nd half progressed we started to dominate as their legs tired (nice work Dhylan) Josh stepped up into midfield (as Ben kept up his love affair with Baldy69) adding some great attacking intent to his defensive rockness. We looked increasing threatening, Daniel neatly dabbed one from behind his back agonisingly just past the post, Callum produced a string of MoM winning silky touches and Jonah somehow failed to lay stick on ball with the goal at his mercy off another fine pass from Ash.

Pbars defenders resorted to a couple penguin feet blocks on the edge of the D, which Mr Umps decided weren't deliberate fouls, seriously WTF?
Ben's vocal instructions got so intimidating, Russ fell over in a heap and left his mask behind at the end.
Ben then demonstrated some of the wayward passing he'd cautioned us against by whacking a long corner out for a 16.
There was late drama with another PBar break, their skipper having the legs to get around Ian, who rolled back the years (yes lots of them) to chase him back, resisted the temptation to deck him as he cut back across him (it would have been a flick and yellow - I'm a pro lads) and instead got back around him and dangled just enough reverse stick to force him to shoot narrowly wide, much to Galoot's relief.
That was about the last of chances and it ended 1-1. I had a brief friendly chat about inconsistent carding /umpiring but decided a post match card wasn't worth risking. Callum scooped the MoM, but honourable mention for Josh whose tackling and distribution was strong all game. As an added plus his mother didn't throw any age related insults my way this game.

For those that went for teas, it was a very nice chille con carne, with guacamole and little wrap thingies - how posh!

We do need to get back into the habit at home or away of staying for teas, it's part of the tradition, that's my personal manifesto, it's good for team morale.

*Footnote: Apart from Jonah asking if I'd had my haircut, I was expecting more piss taking from my newly acquired ginger look. In my defence I was doing my usual task (learnt in lockdown) on Friday evening of touching up Liz's roots (that's not a euphemism) and as there was some left over bleach/dye wondered what I'd look like with blonde hair. But apparently if you start off with darker hair, it goes ginger, not blonde and it doesn't seem to have any effect on the silver (note not grey) bits. You're either all unobservant or polite. I seriously doubt its the latter.

Ricky next week, let's not repeat the 1 from 18 short corner conversion we had at their place.